June 23rd, 2009

Steve Ballmer Preoccupied With World War 3

The site, by Paul Godden.

Yeap, you heard me right. Microsoft have truly shown their evil streak by allowing Lockheed to take an innocent Xbox 360 controller, and twist it for use in modern warfare, which could potentially spell the end of the planet.

Mule The “Mule” (Multifunction Utility/Logistics Equipment) is one of the US’s latest Unmanned Ground Vehicles (UGV). Rather than attack the battlefield face-on, the Mule drives to it’s destination via Xbox Controller (or indeed air-lifted in via helicopter), and sucker punches the unsuspecting enemies of the state while they’re asleep (probably).

The Mule, not just another attempt at a bad military acronym (BMA), is also deadly. Weighing in at 2.5 Tons, the Mule’s payload includes the Javelin guided antitank missile and an M240 7.62mm machine gun thrown in for good measure.

Just remember that if you find yourself on the wrong side of the battlefield in Iraqistanislamibad, or wherever, there’s probably a spotty 13 year-old on the controls of a 6 wheeled vehicle, who thinks he’s pausing the game to eat his dinner, rather than hurling 12 kilos of impact detonating rocket at your tent. A lesson we can all learn from.

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